Baby's Got Back

I do a piss-poor job keeping up with the latest TV developments, so this may be a stale item, but … A rare peek inside the tube this weekend served to further fray whatever illusions of youth and cultural relevance I am trying so desperately to maintain. During a break between one of the 357 DVDs I watched on Saturday, I flipped idly through the Craigslist housing classifieds while waiting for my girlfriend to return from the jacks so we could start the next movie. With the TV on in the background, I perused listing after listing of $1,400 apartments that advertise “closets” as if they were some kind of rare perk. Like “hot tubs” or “in-ground pool.”

Before I could become fully absorbed in the search, my attention was grabbed by the unmistakable, driving beat of “Baby’s Got Back” bursting forth from the speakers. I glanced up from the screen in hopes of catching the welcome sight of “one of those rap guys’ girlfriends” workin’ it out something furious to Sir Mix-a- Lot’s signature song. Instead, I was confronted with the unsettling vision of rugrats with knapsacks bopping around to the reconfigured tune, now known as “Baby I’m Back" (at School). And this, only a week after seeing the Woodsman.

Needless to say, I’m still recovering. Is this how baby boomers felt when Nike used “Revolution” in one of its ads? This kind of blatant bait-and-switch cannot be tolerated. I’ll never be able to hear that song again without feeling compromised. To top it off, Mix-a-Lot even contributes alternative lyrics for the Le Targaay Remix.

A choice example:

“We like backpacks and we cannot lie. With a cellphone pocket on the side. Those old backpacks were a fashion risk, but can a cool backpack exist? Check this: tricked out with the flyest look and I’m holding way more than books, baby I’m back. At school, that is.”

I know a brother’s gotta make a living, but sheeesh … Anyway, I couldn't link directly to a place on the Web where the uninitiated can watch the commerical, but pasting this link http://www.dhadm.com/mediaHolder.php?id=2 in your browser might work.